


it's all that you wanted to be

by DarchangelSkye



Category: American Idol RPF, Music RPF, Real Person Fiction
Genre: Backstage, Couch Cuddles, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Cross-Posted on Wattpad, Crying, Declarations Of Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, OTP Feels, Wordcount: 500-1.000, internalized ableism, post-episode
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-19
Updated: 2016-03-19
Packaged: 2018-05-27 12:26:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6284527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarchangelSkye/pseuds/DarchangelSkye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i> "Then why do I feel like even more of a basket case?"</i><br/>"Because feelings can lie to you sometimes." It wasn't always easy to say the right thing but oh how he tried. "You're really one of the bravest people I know."</p>
            </blockquote>





	it's all that you wanted to be

**Author's Note:**

> title from Wildcat! Wildcat's "Up & Beyond", which was in the background of [Dalton's video package](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AgbnCyxB6eg)

MacKenzie had expected the blue room to be quiet since post-show interviews were winding down and soon everybody would be going back to the hotel they called home. He didn't count on any noise when he neared back there to do a quick final sweep, much less the sound of anyone crying like their soul had been torn from them.

He froze against the door frame as the mournful sounds rose from the couch, whoever was making them lying down to avoid being seen. He actually had to rub his own eyes; this had been an emotional night for everyone...

"Tristan?" he ventured a guess. He couldn't blame her for being this upset, the way she'd been unceremoniously told to leave the stage. But the only answer was more sobs.

MacKenzie carefully stepped closer like whoever it was could bolt up and past him at any sudden noise. Eventually the body lying down came into view- his friend and lover Dalton looking so pale and small and shaking with every strained breath.

He gave a sigh of empathy. Of course everybody already knew each others' stories, so it wasn't like the video package had been a surprise. But apparently watching himself be raw and open was too much for Dalton tonight.

MacKenzie knelt by the couch. He'd made the promise when they'd become roommates and then something more to be understanding and caring, and he wasn't about to break that now. Slowly he reached to stroke and soothe that mess of spiky blond hair he adored, and Dalton didn't flinch.

The volume of his sobs lessened if not the amount, and soon he looked up with his makeup smeared and eyes red. It didn't change MacKenzie's opinion of him at all.

"Hey," he whispered and pecked the younger man's forehead.

Dalton coughed, sniffed deeply, and pressed the heel of his palm to his temple. "I'm so wiped out..."

"I know, we all are," MacKenzie kept his voice quiet as he cuddled an arm around Dalton's shoulders. "But you know what? You were also amazing." And he really was.

Dalton rubbed his nose and curled up his legs to give MacKenzie room to sit- which he did, staying in the cuddle hold. "Then why do I feel like even more of a basket case?"

"Because feelings can lie to you sometimes." It wasn't always easy to say the right thing but oh how he tried. "You're really one of the bravest people I know." MacKenzie moved his hands around for them to link over Dalton's rapid heart and nuzzled his nose in the shoulder crook enough to smell the soft leather of his jacket and light sweat on his skin.

Dalton shook his head. "What if it backfires? What if people decide they don't wanna vote for a freak anymore an'-"

MacKenzie added a quick but gentle squeeze to his hug that thankfully seemed to cut off the destructive train of thought.

"Don't think like that, Dalt. What if I started worrying I wouldn't get votes because of my heart?"

"That's different..." The reply was barely audible and quick to trail off, as if Dalton knew deep down it wasn't rational. It was as good a start as any. MacKenzie kissed his jawline and rubbed a gentle circle over his heart that was finally calming down.

The room was quiet for a moment, save for a mild buzz in MacKenzie's ears that happened once in a while from the loud sound system. But he stayed comfortable until Dalton sniffed again and shifted in the embrace.

"It just hit me..."

"Hmm?" MacKenzie perched on an elbow so he could look into Dalton's still-red eyes.

"We could've been taken from each other before we got to know each other."

Yeah, that had occurred to MacKenzie a few times, but just like with Dalton and his struggles he didn't like to think about it often. He just knew he had the best life he could ever want, especially with this brave soul in his arms right now. He put a hand to Dalton's cooled forehead, thumb rubbing gentle swirls and circles.

"But we made it...and we're gonna keep making it."

Dalton blinked a few times as if processing the realization before the corners of his lips curled in a small but beautiful smile. Everything about him was beautiful. "Yeah..."

MacKenzie nuzzled back into the shoulder crook, right now the softest place in the world. "...love you," he murmured and pecked a kiss. He knew those words wouldn't make all the pain go away, but they could provide a comforting wrap around Dalton's heart to let him know people cared about him. And he did mean it, besides.

"Thank you..." Dalton curled their linked fingers tighter together. That was the best form of saying it back he could ask for right now.

MacKenzie shut his eyes and sighed in relief. He knew they'd have to be shooed out of this room and back to the hotel soon, but at least right now they had a moment of trusting and not letting each other go.


End file.
